let the past be exactly that

here in die hinterland, where my snapdragon & i are visiting for a few days, i have had a chance to reconnect to my former boyfriend of many years' family (at least some of them) & introduce them to the snapdragon. i have to say that i had many fears about seeing some of them because there was a lot of hurt at our break-up & i really considered them my family & have missed our close relationship over the last years. it was very cathartic to sit down & update one another about what has been going on & to still feel the love they have as well as give me a chance to express the love i have always had for them.
the title of this blog is a lesson to us all at all times. we lose so much by hanging on to the past & not letting ourselves or others heal because of our guilt or expectations or disappointments. life is too short not to show love & affection to those lucky enough to touch our lives. it is also way too short to be too much in our stupid heads not to be accepting of love, of others, of ourselves.
i will always be grateful for the hell i went through because of all the lessons i have learned & what has come into my life as a result: heng ji, the snapdragon, acceptance, hope & love.
i wish that those who i love will always know that i love them even if i never have a chance to say it or show it. i know that life is always about change & i hope to enjoy these fleeting moments as they come.
i send out good energy to the universe (ooh how new agey, you say!) but it's true. love, gratitude, acceptance, good energy! that's right, white lightning!