it's been a long time

they say guisseppe, a beat like this might temp me...
that's a shout out for all of you out there who remember such classic rap (not hip hop for fuck's sake!)
it applies to many things currently going on.
i have not been training. i only trained once before shi heng ju's disciple & naming ceremony & blessing. i have been feeling torn because i do want to train. it's just that i would rather go home to the snapdragon & the boyos after a long day of work. but now i am thinking that i should train on certain days when shi heng ji can help out so that i need not have to take care of the baby all by myself after i am exhausted & sore & famished & no doubt in need of a nap. we will try this out.
our friend & babysitter, el said to me today that she used to scoff at people with kids who said they couldn't train because of it. but after taking care of the snapdragon 3 days a week, as well as her other gig caring for sifu's kids, she is too tired to train as much as she would like to. that made me feel good because i am not alone & what i feel is real though i even suspected i was being lazy. certainly all is important & everything should have it's time & place. i just feel like i am on an everchanging emotional ride regarding training.
also despite everyone saying go train, just take it easy, hear this: there is no such thing as taking it easy. the minute you step into temple you are there to train harder & that folks is that.
so more chi to me!