philosophy of housecleaning

my mom sent this to me & although it is in jest, i know exactly what she is saying! particularly because she may be sleeping over next weekend. i must make sure the dogs sleep on her aerobed as sweet, sweet vengeance!

PHILOSOPHY OF HOUSECLEANING (with commentary)
I don't do windows because ... I love birds anddon't want one to run into a clean window and get hurt. [well, i don't love birds per say, tenzin does]
I don't wax floors because ... I am terrified a guest will slip and get hurt then I'll feel terrible (plus they may sue me.) [nothing irritates me more than uneven floor colour]
I don't mind the dust bunnies because ... They are very good company, I have named most of them, and they agree with everything I say. [sara espanol may remember this fun we used to have, quan tuo does it now too]
I don't disturb cobwebs because . I want every creature to have a home of their own. [kris used to have a spider collection but this is quite untrue]
I don't Spring Clean because . I love all the seasons and don't want the others to get jealous. [spring cleaning is over rated]
I don't pull weeds in the garden because .. I don't want to get in God's way, HE is an excellent designer! [i don't subscribe to any god & i don't have a garden, just a lovely balcony where everything dies in the summer & winter!]
I don't put things away because my husband will never be able to find them again. [first no husband, a bit presumptuous i think! secondly it again assumes that women have to clean up after their men which should not be the case]
I don't do gourmet meals when I entertain because I don't want my guests tostress out over what to make when they invite me over for dinner. [certainly not true, i love to make people try to top my scrumptuous meals]
I don't iron because ... I choose to believe them when they say "Permanent Press". [actually all garments should be steamable in the bathroom, otherwise i love my dry cleaners!]
I don't stress much on anything because ... "A Type" personalities die young andI want to stick around and become a wrinkled up crusty ol' woman!!!! [with a rockin' kung fu body! actually mom is right about not stressing out, who needs it? i must have not been around when they giving out those inherited traits!]